I searched deep inside for some wisdom on this one, and then remembered a conversation I had with my chavrusa Reb Zeev, a very wise doctor, talmid chacham, and baal chesed who has served as a consultant for many of the gedolim of Eretz Yisrael. Reb Zeev often reminds me, “Yaakov, keep your priority ladder in mind.” 

This, he told me recently, should be the order of my ladder: “Number One, Yaakov, you’ve got to feed your family and take care of making your rebbetzin happy. A wife who isn’t supported emotionally doesn’t have a very good husband. Number Two is to make sure that your kids are the best kids possible, and that’s how you should view them too. It’s so important when you look at your kids that you don’t say, ‘They could’ve been better.’ Number Three is that coming to Eretz Yisrael is about learning as much Torah as possible. There isn’t any other way about it — that’s what we’re here for. And Number Four is kiruv. What good is it if we have the answers and don’t share them with our fellow Jews?”